Tuesday, 26 April 2011

The space in between

Well it has been quite a change the last six months ending a ten year relationship, moving out and losing a home.

I think that it isn't until you lose everything that you can appreciate what you have.

Suddenly you can't invite people back, or have them stay overnight, you have to live by others rules imposed upon your life, it all seems to be loss, bleak.

But the reality is that there is still a lot left, skill, expression for talent, a time of reflection on the road ahead, not having a home means I am free to go in any direction I choose. For the first time I don't have to think about anyone else, just me.

I was lost in accumulation, getting more and more stuff filling the studio until it was overflowing, suddenly its time to stop, take stock and look at all the stuff and wonder what is it all for? What have I created?

What I discovered was a mountain of materials, fabric, paper, wood and wool, a project half completed here and there, I am ashamed at the way that it has all accumulated.

It is so easy to get stuck on the next project, the next big idea, the next item to buy.

I think today we are so bombarded with ideas and stimulation, that it all becomes a whirlwind, flitting from one project to the next, rushing because half way though we spotted our next project and we want to start that while the enthusiasm is still going. Flikr, blogs, books, magazines, websites, programmes, it all is whirring around until there is no productivity because there is no joy in the creation, it is all output.

I lost the joy of creation, the actual process of putting paint on canvas, that feel as the paint slowly slips streaks of strong vibrant colour across the virgin white square, while drowning out the inner critic who whispers it was a 'fluke' last time. It takes courage to begin again, to believe that it will all work out.

I like the quiet comfort of the wool round hook, creating a blanket.

Suddenly I find again the joy of creating out of necessity, to make my life more beautiful or comfortable because I need it.

It isn't so much that I need another granny square blanket, more the memory of a time when I was loved and safe, and cared for, with every stitch I am comforted. While I can create, I am still here, still have something to make the world a more beautiful place.

Then I forget that I have lost so much, I am in the present, creating anew, stitch by stitch, beauty comes from my fingers, and I know that it is just a gap, that space in between.

Thursday, 21 April 2011


We visited Uppark a lovely house set just inside the West Sussex border. Travelling through the country lanes in Tiffany (my little red sports car) roof down and the sun shining it was a wonderful journey. The roads are very peaceful, quiet and the views stunning.

The entrance to the house is not very imposing, rather quiet, but the house itself is beautiful. They have restored it so well after the disastrous fire a few years ago. One rather interesting feature is the tunnels that link the diary and the servants quarters it meant that the servants could not be seen.

There are some gorgeous pieces of furniture, one in particular was a wooden desk with lots of cubby holes, I imagined being some great writer tapping away at an ancient typewriter on it. I love desks, they really do inspire me.

The tea and cakes were a delightful end to a great trip. I plan to do some painting from the photos I took.

Saturday, 16 April 2011

Pineapple turrets!

The South Parade has a pier, which is still in use, although sadly it is taken over by amusement arcades and doughnut stands. However, at the entrance to the pier stands two turrets with these beautiful pineapple tiled tops.

Walk along Southsea - Walking on Water

These little boats are nestled ready for a days floating around. I love the duck!

I used to enjoy this when I was younger, spending summer days floating around and pedalling hard. It is nice to see children are still enjoying such a simple activity.

These wonderful balls will take adults, but I was too
shy to try!

It gives you the opportunity to walk on water, this little girl was having a fantastic time.

A walk along Southsea Parade - Mayors Monument

Southsea is a lovely place, separate, by those who live there, as completely separate from Portsmouth.
The area itself is full of beautiful mansions created during the Victorian Era, and there are wonderful to see, as no two are alike!

Along by the boating lake you will find this beautiful fountain, (sadly not
currently working) which was dedicated to a previous Mayor. The angel is holding a dove, and is a beautiful bronze, however the sea winds has eroded her nose a little! What is simply beautiful is the gold and iron work above her, detailed in gold.

These objects are like hidden gems, they were created at a time that seemed to want to create not only something lasting but beautiful.